


you'll be just fine (oh, alien)

by SoloChaos



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brothers, Coming of Age, Gen, Hoarding Disorder, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Sibling Rivalry, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 22:18:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4539480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>When Tyler is seven years old, his parents sit him and all his siblings down and quietly tell them that there's going to be a new boy staying here, one a little older than Tyler.</i> </p><p>  <i>Tyler does not react well to that.</i></p><p> </p><p>Tyler isn't happy to play host to a foster kid. Josh is <i>weird</i>. He sees a there-ape-ist, he cries a lot, and Tyler's parents dote on him.</p><p>Tyler doesn't like his new foster brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Seven (Beginnings)

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE. READ. TAGS. FOR. TRIGGER. WARNINGS.
> 
> I will let you know about chapter-specific warnings in the chapter notes when needed.
> 
>  
> 
> I hesitate to post this because I'm not even done the next chapter, but hopefully you guys can motivate me to keep working on this fic. I have most of the plot planned out, though. I even have some of a sequel written.

When Tyler is seven years old, his parents sit him and all his siblings down and quietly tell them that there's going to be a new boy staying here, one a little older than Tyler.

Tyler does not react well to that. 

_He's_  the eldest child.  _He's_  the eldest, the most responsible, the most reliable.  _He's_  his parents' most trustworthy child, the most capable one. He doesn't want another kid here, especially not an older one.

He tells his parents as much, and they immediately scold him. Tyler doesn’t understand why. He’s making a valid point. Tyler can’t trust some kid to assume the responsibilities of the eldest. None of them can.

He also doesn’t understand why Zack and Maddy aren’t more upset about this. Well, Tyler doubts that Maddy really understands what’s going on, since she’s only two, but Zack is obviously comprehending.

"What’s his name?" Zack asks.

"His name is Josh," their mom answers, looking relieved.

"How old is he?"

"Eight."

"Does he like basketball?"

"I don’t think he knows what basketball is."

"Can I teach him?"

Their mom smiles. "I think he’d love that, Zack. But he’s going to be a little shy at first, so it might be a while before you can."

"And kids," their dad says, and they all turn their attention to him, "Josh is going to be scared. He won't know any of us. So I need all of you to be on your best behavior, okay? Make him feel welcome."

Tyler grumbles, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s not happy.

 

 

 

"Why's he staying in our house?" Tyler asks, not for the first time. 

"Because he doesn't have anywhere else to stay," his mom answers, also not for the first time. 

"But why  _our_  house?" 

"Because we have money, and we can support another child here."

Tyler huffs. "But why can't he stay with someone else who has money?"

"Because we're good people," his mom answers. 

"Why can't he stay with other good people who have money?"

"Tyler," his mom says, pulling the car over before turning to face him, "you're going to be nice to this boy. Do you understand me?" She looks angry, angrier than the time Tyler and Zack accidentally broke that vase. 

He looks down and nods. "Yeah."

"Look at me." Tyler looks up. "This boy has had a very hard life. You are going to be  _nice_  to him. Understand?"

Tyler nods. "Yes. I understand," he grumbles.

 

 

 

Tyler gets home from school to find his mother setting up another bed in the room that he and Zack shares. 

"Why is he staying in  _MY_  room?!" Tyler demands. "There're already too many people with Zacky! I don't want him here!"

"Well, you're just going to have to learn how to live with that," his mom says. 

"No!" Tyler shouts, stomping his foot. "He is  _NOT_  sleeping in here!"

His mom drops the sheets she was holding and turns to face him. 

"Listen to me, Tyler Joseph," she says firmly, looming over Tyler, "not everything is about you. Josh didn't even have his own  _bed_  growing up. At least be thankful for the fact that you have your own bed, okay? There are worse things than sharing a room."

Tyler scowls. "I hate this," he grumbles. "I hate Josh."

"Tyler Joseph!" his mother shouts, looking so, so angry that it even scares Tyler. "You don't even  _know_  Josh. Don't you  _ever_  say that you hate him, understand? I want you to be  _kind_  to this boy. And if you can't manage that, at least be neutral. Do  _not_  be mean. Okay?"

"Okay," Tyler mumbles.

 

 

 

Tyler’s parents leave for the airport to pick up Josh about one month after they announced that Josh would be staying in their home. Their neighbor babysits Tyler and his siblings while their parents are gone. 

They get back right as their neighbor is trying to get them all into bed, giving Tyler and Zack an excuse to race downstairs, defying their babysitter. Maddy tries to follow them, but she isn’t so good at walking yet, so their neighbor carries her to greet their parents.

Tyler’s parents both look very tired. Tyler’s dad is setting a suitcase down, and Tyler’s mom is carrying Josh on her hip. Josh has pale skin and messy dark hair that’s past his chin. He has a small backpack slung on his back, and he’s clutching Tyler’s mom’s shirt like his life depends upon it.

"This is Josh," Tyler's mom says to Tyler and his siblings. "Josh, this is Tyler, Zack, and Maddy."

Josh just looks at them all, rubbing his mouth furiously, before turning around and burying his face in Tyler's mother's neck.

Tyler rolls his eyes. Josh is such a baby. And Tyler's mom hardly ever picks up Zack, who’s verging on six. Why is she carrying Josh, who’s older than  _Tyler?_

Well, at least Tyler doesn’t have to worry about being replaced. Josh is definitely unfit for eldest child duties.

Tyler’s dad goes off to talk to their neighbor and give her money as Tyler’s mom instructs Tyler to take the suitcase up to his room. Their room. He scowls as he throws Josh’s suitcase down by his bed before stomping back out to see Josh crying as Tyler’s mom tries to set him down. What a baby. Isn’t he eight? That’s older than Tyler, and Tyler doesn’t cry anymore. Tyler’s a big boy now.

Josh, obviously, is not.

"Josh, sweetie, it’s time for you to go to bed, okay?" his mom is saying.

Josh shakes his head. "No, I don’t wanna," he whispers, gripping her shirt tightly with one hand while rubbing his mouth with the other.

"Josh, it’s very late, and you’re had a long day," she says, carefully peeling his fingers from her shirt. "Let’s go get you to bed, okay?"

Tyler’s father comes back and ushers Tyler, Zack, and Maddy all up to their rooms. They all grumble but obediently go back to their beds.

It’s a while before Josh finally comes into their room, and Tyler’s nearly asleep. He’s led in by Tyler’s mother, and Tyler can hear him whimpering a little as he climbs into his bed.

"Get some rest, okay?" his mom says. "I’ll see you tomorrow morning. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to wake up me or Chris, okay? We won’t be mad at you."

"Okay," Josh says very quietly.

"Goodnight, Josh," his mom says. She pauses for a moment before Tyler sees her lean down and hesitantly pat what’s probably Josh’s shoulder.

Josh doesn’t reply.

 

 

 

"And he's such a crybaby!" Tyler complains. "He sobs all the time, and he spends  _all night_  just crying in his bed."

He’s with his neighbor and best friend, Jenna. Jenna was on vacation when Josh arrived, and it’s their first playdate since she got back.

Jenna munches thoughtfully on a carrot stick. "Maybe he's sad all the time."

Tyler scoffs. "Why'd he be sad all the time? Everybody's  _real_  nice to him, Jenna. Why would anyone be sad when everyone's real nice?"

"Maybe everyone's real nice to him because he's sad all the time," Jenna suggests. "And also, it doesn't sound like  _you're_  nice to him."

Tyler grumbles as he takes a bite of his sandwich. "All he does is eat food and cry a  _bunch,"_  he complains. "And no matter what he does, Mommy  _never_  gets mad at him. And he pees the bed!  _Maddy_  doesn’t even do that anymore."

"It sounds like you're jealous."

Tyler splutters. "I– I'm not  _jealous,"_  he says indignantly. "Why'd I be jealous?"

"Because your mommy doesn't ever get mad at him."

"I’m not jealous," Tyler says after failing to think of a rebuttal.

Jenna nods. "Right."

 

 

 

It’s a couple of weeks before Josh warms up to Tyler’s family well enough to be willing to attend Tyler’s mom’s lessons. Tyler and Zack are both homeschooled, and Maddy will be too once she’s old enough.

"Hi," Josh says quietly as he sits down next to Tyler. They’re all waiting for Tyler’s mom to be done with the dishes.

Tyler ignores him, choosing to read the book his mom gave him instead.

"What you reading?" Josh asks. Despite his broken speech, he's gotten a lot more chatty since when he first arrived. Tyler can’t say he cares for it.

He shows Josh the cover instead of telling him the title.  _If You Give a Mouse a Cookie._

Josh frowns. "What it say?"

Tyler pauses, cocking his head. "You can’t read?" he asks. "Are you stupid?"

Josh flushes and wipes the hair away from his eyes. Although Tyler’s mom cut it not too long ago, some of it still hangs over his face.

"You’re being mean, Tyler," Zack pipes up.

"Am not," Tyler says.

"Yes you are. It’s mean to call people stupid."

"I wasn’t calling him stupid. I was asking him if he was stupid."

"You weren’t asking. You were–"

"Be quiet, Zacky. You’re only five."

Zack’s chin juts out. "I’m old enough to know that you’re being mean. And Mommy told you not to be mean."

"Well, Mommy isn’t–"

"I  _can_  read," Josh interrupts. "But I can’t read that."

"Well, what can you read?" Tyler challenges.

"Enough," Josh says vaguely, and Tyler is about to ask for more when his mom walks in.

 

 

 

"What did you  _do?"_  Tyler asks, staring at Maddie's now-mangled Ken doll. 

Josh shrugs, staring at his socks. "I dunno," he mutters. "It I found on my bed."

"So you… poked it with a pen?"

Josh shrugs again. "Yeah."

"Why?" Tyler asks, mystified. 

Josh kicks at the carpet. "Felt like it," he mutters. 

"His mouth is all messed up now," Tyler says with a frown. "Maddy's gonna be mad."

Josh rubs his mouth. "I bigger than her."

"Mommy likes her more."

Josh pales. "Oh."

Tyler shrugs, tossing the doll behind him. 

Josh grabs it and shoves it under his bed.  

 

 

 

It’s Zack’s sixth birthday today, and Tyler’s mom is letting Tyler lick the leftover frosting from the bowl since he helped her make the cake.

Josh wanders in, clutching the teddy bear Tyler’s mom got him a couple weeks ago. Tyler doesn’t think he’s seen Josh without it since.

"What you doing, Mrs. Joseph?" Josh asks, standing on his tiptoes so he can see over the counter.

"Call me Kelly, sweetie. I’m making a cake for Zack," Tyler’s mom replies. "Do you want some frosting? Tyler’s having some." Tyler opens his mouth to protest, but he catches his mother’s eye and holds out the bowl. Most of the remnants are gone, anyways.

But instead of dipping a finger into the bowl, Josh simply leans in. Tyler blinks, not knowing what to think as Josh puts his mouth around Tyler's frosting-covered fingers. 

"Ew!" Tyler shrieks, jerking his fingers out of Josh's mouth. "What the heck?"

"Sorry, sorry!" Josh yelps, stumbling back. He’s gripping his bear’s neck so tightly that its plastic eyes are bulging from its head. "Sorry!"

Tyler looks at his mom, who seems momentarily speechless.

"Josh, we– um, we don’t lick other people, okay?" she says. "Remember what I told you after you met Jenna?"

Tyler laughs a little to himself. That interaction was  _weird._ He and Jenna still laugh about it from time to time. Only when they’re by themselves, though. Everyone else gets all tense when they bring it up, especially Mrs. Black.

Josh flushes, looking down. "I’m sorry," he whispers, rubbing his lips.

"It’s okay, Josh," Tyler’s mother says. "I can tell that you’re really trying, and that’s what matters."

Josh start to cry, and annoyed, Tyler sets the bowl down and leaves the kitchen, not wanting to watch his mother comfort Josh for the millionth time.

 

 

 

"Tyler, Maddy, if you want candy so badly, just go in and get it yourself, okay?" Tyler’s mom says as she waits for a space to open up to get gas at the gas station.

Tyler and Maddy stare at her. "By… ourselves?" Tyler asks.

She nods. "It’s very easy. Just get what you want, take it to the counter, and give the cashier money, okay? I’ll be right here."

Tyler frowns. "Mom…"

"You’re almost eight, Tyler," she reminds him. "All of you, go. Get  _one_ piece of candy each. It’s the only way you’re getting any."

Candy  _is_ a strong motivation.

It’s going well, up into the point Tyler shoves Josh out of the way so he can grab a bag of skittles, and Josh crashes into the stand holding bags of potato chips.

"Hey!" The shopkeeper comes stomping over to them. Tyler quickly skitters back, letting the shopkeeper focus her attention onto Josh.

"What on earth do you think you’re doing, young man?" she demands.

Tyler expects Josh to curl into a ball on the floor and cry, but instead he stands up, brushes the potato chip crumbs off of his jeans, and crosses his arms.

"Fuck you," he says. Tyler jumps, partially because of the swear, but mostly because someone just grabbed his hand. It just turned out to be Maddy.

"Excuse me?" the shopkeeper says, looking more surprised than anything.

"Fuck you," Josh repeats.

The shopkeeper opens her mouth, looking angrier and angrier by the second, but Josh cuts her off.

"FUCK YOU!" he screams. Everyone jumps in surprise. "YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' BITCH! FUCKIN' SHITHEAD, COCKSUCKIN' CUNT! GODDAMN SLUT! I SHOULD BEAT YOUR STUPID ASS 'TIL YOUR TEETH ARE ON THE FUCKIN'  _FLOOR!_  MAYBE  _THEN_  YOU BE ABLE T'SUCK ME OFF RIGHT STEADA DOIN' IT LIKE A CHEAP, MISERABLE, FUCKIN' WHORE!"

Tyler didn't understand the majority of the words that just came out of Josh's mouth, but he knows enough curse words to understand that what Josh just said was really, really,  _really_  bad. Even Maddy, who Tyler  _knows_  didn't understand a single word that Josh said, is starting to cry.

The shopkeeper looks stunned at first, but then the surprise morphs into fury.

"Young man!" she snaps angrily, grabbing Josh’s arm and dragging him to the counter. "I am calling your mother!"

"I don’t gotta mother," Josh says, chin raised. "She’s a burnout and a hooker."

The shopkeeper's mouth drops. "What an awful thing to say!"

"It's true," Josh says, crossing his arms and glaring.

"You," the shopkeeper says, pointing to Tyler, who feels himself freeze. "Is this your brother?"

"No," Tyler says.

"He lives with us," Maddy adds. "Our, um. Fester brother?"

"Foster," Tyler corrects.

"Foster brother," Maddy tells the shopkeeper.

The shopkeeper wrangles their mother’s phone number out of them, and due to the fact that Tyler’s mother was right outside the door (which no one told the shopkeeper), she’s there almost instantly.

"What happened?" Tyler’s mom asks, looking at the shopkeeper, then to Josh’s, whose lower lip is starting to tremble.

"This boy said some  _very_ rude words to me," the shopkeeper says. She looks very mad, Tyler notes.

"What does cheap, miserable, fucking whore mean, Mommy?" Maddy asks, and Tyler smirks a little to himself as the shopkeeper’s face goes even redder.

"He called you that?" Tyler’s mom asks, looking astonished and faintly horrified.

"And then some," the shopkeeper says darkly.

"Look, okay." Tyler’s mom takes a deep breath. "Kids, will you stand over there while I talk to this woman?"

Dutifully, Tyler, Maddy, and Josh all head over to the corner. This doesn’t stop Tyler from doing his very best to eavesdrop.

"What’s she saying?" Maddy whispers.

"Something like, uh, 'uh-bused sive-ear-lee,' I think," Tyler whispers back. "Um, 'seks-you-ull-lee ex-ploy-ted,' and, uh," he listens, "'just repeating'."

"What does that mean?" Maddy asks. Tyler shrugs.

"Josh? Will you come here for a second, sweetie?" Tyler’s mom suddenly calls, and Tyler watches as a pale-faced Josh stumbles his way over to them.

Tyler’s mom says something to Josh that Tyler can’t make out, and then Josh is saying something to the shopkeeper, and then the shopkeeper kneels down and says something very quietly to him, looking a lot less angry. Tyler can see Josh nodding, and then he kisses her.

Tyler’s eyes go wide.

"Josh!" Tyler’s mother shouts, grabbing Josh around the middle and picking him. "I am so sorry. I… I had no idea he would do that," she tells the shopkeeper, who doesn’t say anything in return. "Kids, let’s go," she calls to Tyler and Maddy, who scramble over to follow her.

The ride home is very quiet.

All Tyler can really think about is how he never got his skittles.

 

 

 

"What’s a there-ape-ist?" Jenna asks Tyler as they try to build a house of legos. (Try, since they can’t figure out how to make a roof.)

"I don’t know," Tyler says. "What is it?"

"I don’t now. That’s why I asked," Jenna tells him. "I heard your mommy tell mine that Josh is seeing one now."

"What did your mommy say?"

"She said, 'oh, good for him!' and then as your mommy went to the bathroom I heard my mommy say, 'about damn time.'"

"Huh," Tyler says. "Hey, do you want to watch Spider-Man? Zacky got the DVD for his birthday."

"Yeah!" Jenna agrees, kicking their attempt at a lego house down.

 

 

 

 Tyler only notices the boxes when he walks into his bedroom to find Josh’s legs sticking out from under his bed. 

"Uh. What are you doing?" Tyler asks, crouching down next to Josh’s bed. He blinks when he sees all the boxes and bottles and other containers decorating the floor beneath Josh’s bed, hidden behind the bedskirt.

Josh scrambles out from under the bed, face bright pink and eyes wide. "Um," he says, biting his lip.

Tyler stands to face him. "Why do you have all that junk under your bed?" he asks. He peeks down to look again. "Full of… lollipop sticks?"

"It en't junk," Josh says indignantly. "They my things and you can’t touch 'em."

"Why not?" Tyler asks.

"Don't touch 'em!"

"It's garbage. It's gross." Tyler bends down to grab one of the bottles when Josh grabs his shirt and pulls him back. 

"DON'T TOUCH 'EM!" Josh screams. "YOU CAN'T TOUCH 'EM! THEY MINE!"

Tyler is stunned speechless for a moment before scrambling up and kicking Josh in the shins. "DON’T TOUCH ME!" he yells back. He’d expected Josh to shy away, start crying the moment Tyler kicked him, but instead of tears, Josh’s eyes are filled with something Tyler can’t identify. Desperation, maybe? Desperation and something else, and the something else has Tyler stepping back.

"You can’t touch my things," Josh says quietly. "I thought you was okay, but you shoulda known that you can’t touch my things. You gotta get your own things."

"All you have is garbage," Tyler tells him. "I don’t want your things."

Josh narrows his eyes. "Right," he says testily.

"I don't," Tyler says firmly. 

He can feel Josh's eyes on him as he leaves the room.

 

 

 

"Look," Josh says quietly that night, after Zack’s breathing has evened out, "I’m sorry I yelled."

Tyler’s silent, but he grunts to let Josh know that he’s awake.

"Please don’t say to your mom 'bout the stuff under my bed," Josh whispers.

"Why shouldn’t I?"

"'Cause I asked you to not?" 

Tyler doesn’t reply, and Josh sighs.

"'Cause I can make you happy," he says, and suddenly he’s climbing into Tyler’s bed.

"Hey!" Tyler whisper-yells, conscious of Zack’s presence. He pushes Josh away, and Josh falls to the floor, his landing cushioned by the blankets that fell with him. "What are you  _doing?!"_

"Oh," Josh mumbles. "Okay."

Josh is definitely weird, Tyler decides. Definitely weird.

He also looks very sad, from what Tyler can see, aided by the nightlight.

"I won’t tell," he says carefully, "if you stay away from me. Don’t try to play with me and Jenna. Don’t try to talk to me during dinner. Don’t try to join in when Zacky and I are playing basketball. I don’t like you. I don’t want you here. I don’t want to be with you unless I have to be. Do you get that?"

Josh nods.

"Good. Then I won’t tell."

Josh goes back to bed, and Tyler falls asleep, his mind registering Josh’s quiet sobbing as white noise.


	2. Eight (Therapy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's much shorter than the first; I apologize.

When Tyler is eight years old, his entire family starts going to see Dr. Stump. 

Tyler is not happy.

"I don’t  _wanna_ go see Dr. Stump!" Tyler whines. "It sounds boring! Josh said that all he does with Dr. Stump is talk!"

"They also play games," his mother tells him. "And they draw a lot, too."

"Boring," Tyler says. "Boring, boring, boring, boring. I don’t want to see Dr. Stump."

"You really don't have a choice," his mother informs him. 

 

 

 

Not that Tyler would ever tell his mother this, but he kind of enjoys going to the Dr. Stump appointments.

Dr. Stump has a lot of art supplies and board games, and sometimes they play games where they get to eat candy. 

"I want you all to draw yourselves," Dr. Stump says one day as he passes out paper.

Tyler eagerly begins drawing, snatching the black crayon that Josh was reaching for.

Dr. Stump gives them ten minutes to draw before telling them to put their crayons down and start sharing their drawings. They're all pretty unremarkable. Except for Josh's, of course. 

"That's you?" Tyler asks, snickering as he looks at Josh's self-portrait. "You look like a girl!"

Josh flushes. "I do not," he mutters.

"You do!" Tyler laughs, pointing. "Look at your lips!"

"Let's move on to our second activity," Dr. Stump says, starting to collect their drawings. He looks kind of freaked out. Tyler wonders why.

"Don’t make fun of him," Maddy says with a frown. "Yours looks like your hair and eyes are on fire."

Tyler looks down at his drawing. His drawing abilities are really rather good, thanks to an art day camp Tyler’s parents sent him and Zack to the summer after Maddy was born. He knows to put the eyes in the middle of the face, not the top like Maddy does.

Tyler looks over at Josh’s paper. Josh too, apparently, knows to put the eyes in the middle of the face. Whatever. Josh’s self-portrait’s lips are far too large and red.

"Be quiet," Tyler mumbles to Maddy.

"For our second activity," Dr. Stump says loudly, "we’re going to play a game called Castle. First, I want you to picture a faraway land, away from everything you know."

 

 

 

"What’s there-ape-ee like?" Jenna asks.

"Therapy," Tyler corrects. "It’s okay. We just play games and draw and stuff."

"Why?"

Tyler frowns. "Why what?"

"Why do your parents make you play games and draw at Dr. Stump’s instead of at home?" Jenna clarifies.

Tyler shrugs. "I don’t know," he says. "Besides, sometimes we just talk about stuff instead of playing games. It’s super boring. Mom told me that on Wednesdays, when Josh goes by himself instead with everyone, it’s all talking. That must be  _really_ boring."

"What do you talk about?" Jenna asks.

"I don’t know. Stuff," Tyler says. "Like things we do at home and stuff. Let’s go play at your house. This is boring."

 

 

 

They draw a lot at the Dr. Stump appointments. They draw things like bananas and monsters and different people. 

"I want you to draw one thing that will make you very, very happy if you had," Dr. Stump says. "But you can’t draw any toys or other objects."

Tyler thinks about this long and hard.

All he can think about right now is candy.

Eventually, he picks up a crayon and draws himself sleeping. It’s not his best drawing, but he’s running low on time.

"Crayons down, everyone," Dr. Stump says. "Okay, Maddy. What did you draw?"

They go around and share their drawings. Tyler’s parents both drew the same thing, which is weird. (Their family spending more time together, if one wanted to know.)

"I’m sleeping," Tyler says when it’s his turn, holding up his picture.

"Are you unable to sleep?" Dr. Stump asks.

Tyler shakes his head. "It just takes me a really long time to fall asleep," he explains.

Dr. Stump looks like he wants to say something, but instead, he turns to Josh and asks him what he drew.

Timidly, Josh holds up a picture of a bunch of what looked like shirts, or maybe jackets.

"What’s that?" Tyler blurts before he can stop himself.

"Sweaters," Josh mumbles back.

"You have sweaters, dummy."

"Tyler," his mom says warningly, and Tyler falls silent.

"I don't mean sweaters, 'xactly," Josh says, looking irritated. "I mean all warm things. I’m cold always."

"It’s the middle of the summer," Tyler can’t help buy interject.

"I’m cold in here," Josh snaps, pointing to his chest.

Tyler doesn't know what to say to that, so he turns his attention to Zack, who's next. 

 

 

 

Tyler’s favorite game that they play at Dr. Stump’s is the color game. Mainly because they get to eat candy.

"What color skittles do you have?" Dr. Stump asks, turning to Zack.

Zack looks like a deer caught in headlights. "Um," he says, words sounding garbled. Tyler can see a mix of colors in his mouth.

"Zack," Tyler’s mom admonishes, but Dr. Stump only laughs and lets Zack take another handful.

"Just don’t eat these ones, okay?" he says to Zack. "Not until we’re done." Zack nods.

"Okay," Dr. Stump says, "Maddy, why don’t you go first?"

"Okay," Maddy says. She holds up a yellow skittle. "What does yellow mean, again?"

"Happy," Dr. Stump tells her.

"Oh," she says. "It makes me feel happy when I play with my Legos." She eats the yellow skittle before holding up a red one. "It makes me feel angry when I can't play with my Legos." Holding up the green skittle, she says, "It makes me feel jealous when I see Zacky playing with Legos instead of me playing with them." She continues on as so.

When they reach Josh, Tyler prepares to restrain himself. His mom had told him that he’d been interrupting Josh too much, and if he stopped she’ll let him have an extra scoop of ice cream after dinner.

Josh holds up a purple skittle. "It makes me feel nervous when…" Josh pauses, biting his lip, "when– when I see big men with red hair."

Tyler opens his mouth to ask why, but he catches himself in time.

His mom discreetly gives him a thumbs up.

"It makes me feel…" Josh looks at Dr. Stump. "The color for 'slutty' what?"

For a moment Dr. Stump's mouth opens and closes rapidly before he quickly says, "We're not using that word."

"Why not?" Josh asks.

"It’s not appropriate," Dr. Stump says gently.

Josh furrows his eyebrows. "Why?"

"It's not appropriate."

"It en't?" Josh frowns. "It in my mouth." He grabs his lower lip, beginning to pull down before Tyler's mom grabs his hand. 

"You can show Dr. Stump Wednesday, all right?" his mom says. "This is Wednesday conversation, not Saturday conversation."

Josh nods, looking appropriately abashed. 

"We can talk about that word Wednesday, Josh," Dr. Stump assure him. 

Tyler would like it to be a Saturday conversation, because he has no idea what 'slutty' means. Or why and how it's in Josh's mouth.

He doesn't say anything, though. He just clenches his fist around his handful of skittles and lets the dye bleed into his palm. 

 

 

 

"What’s this?" Dr. Stump asks, looking over at Maddy's drawing. Tyler looks too, noticing the mess of lines and colors on Maddy's paper.

"It’s Tyler and Zacky and Josh’s room," Maddy says.

Dr. Stump frowns. "And what’s that?" he asks, pointing, and Tyler doesn’t realize what he’s pointing to until it’s too late.

"That’s Josh’s bed. He keeps all his boxes under there," Maddy says nonchalantly, picking up a yellow crayon.

"Boxes?" Dr. Stump looks at Tyler’s parents, who both reply with confused expressions. Josh, as Tyler notes, has very wide eyes.

"Yeah," Maddy says, oblivious to the reactions of everyone else. "He has lots of boxes. He puts toys in them. And food wrappers. All sorts of things. Whatever he can find, I think. And you’re not allowed to touch them."

"Josh?" Dr. Stump asks. Everyone except Maddy looks over at Josh, who’s very focused on his drawing.

"Josh?" Tyler’s mom echoes. "What’s Maddy talking about?"

"I dunno," Josh says quickly.

"Josh," Dr. Stump says quietly, "do you keep boxes under your bed?"

"…no?" Josh says, gripping the orange crayon very, very tightly.

"No one is mad at you," Dr. Stump says gently. "We just need to know if you’re keeping things under your bed, okay?"

Tyler steals a glance at his parents. They both look very confused and very… scared?

Ridiculous. His parents can’t be scared. They’re grown-ups. Grown-ups never get scared.

Josh sounds very small when he says, "Yeah. I am." He rubs his mouth.

The drawing session ends awkwardly, and Tyler’s parents and Dr. Stump’s meeting afterwards is the longest Tyler can remember it being in a long time.


	3. Nine (Gifts)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all right you eager fucking beavers here it is
> 
> (i've gotten so many asks on my tumblr ((solo-chaos ha ha self promo lol)) so i finally cranked this one out. it's not even edited! yay!)

When Tyler is nine years old, he decides that he’s been treaded on for too long.

He realizes this when he notices that his mom always lets Josh scoop his ice cream first. After that, Tyler began to pick up on everything else. His parents always listen to what Josh says more. His mom doesn’t give Josh as much homework as she gives Tyler. His dad bought Josh his own basketball, but Tyler still has to use the worn one he shares with Zack and Maddy. (Josh doesn’t even _play_ basketball; Tyler’s pretty sure that the ball is just sitting in their closet with all Josh's other junk.)

Does Josh help Zack with his homework? Does Josh practice basketball with Maddy and let her win (most of the time)? Does Josh take the trash out to the curb every Monday and Thursday night?

No. Tyler does _way_ more than Josh does.

He has to do something about this.

 

 

"That just sounds kind of mean," Jenna remarks.

"Well, can you blame me?" Tyler says. "You see how he gets treated compared to _me._ I don’t think it’s _too_ mean."

"I think that there’s a difference between you being _right_ and you just being a bully," Jenna says.

Tyler scowls. "You’re supposed to be on _my_ side," he complains.

"I’m not _not_ on your side," Jenna says. "I’m just trying to be reasonable here. That’s what my mom always says to do."

Mrs. Black is rarely wrong, but Tyler doesn’t feel like being reasonable.

 

 

"Josh, can you grab that pot?" Tyler asks, peeking up from his homework surreptitiously so he can watch without Josh noticing.

Obediently, Josh goes to pick up the pot. The handle, however, is still hot, and Josh drops it with a loud yelp. The sauce spills everywhere, and the pot hit the floor with a loud _boom._

Josh cradles his burnt hand to his chest, lower lip trembling. He's such a crybaby. Tyler bets it didn't even hurt that bad.

"Look what you did," Tyler says, and Josh bursts into tears.

"What was that noise?" Tyler's mom asks, running into the kitchen and stopping when she sees the sauce all over the floor. "Who did this?" she demands.

"Josh did it," Tyler says quickly, and Josh looks down, ashamed.

There. He's finally going to get in trouble.

"Oh," Tyler's mom says, face softening. "It's all right, honey. Accidents happen to everyone." Josh sniffs.

"R-really?" he asks, rubbing his mouth with his unscathed hand.

"Really," his mom says. "Oh, Josh! Your hand!"

"I'm sorry," Josh whispers.

"No, no, don't apologize for getting hurt," she says quickly. "Come here. I'm going to pick you up so we can put some cream on it. Is that okay?" Josh nods, holding his arms out, and she scoops him up. "Tyler, can you clean up the sauce? Thank you."

Tyler watches, disbelieving, as he watches his mother carry Josh upstairs.

That did not go as planned.

 

 

Tyler's room underwent major renovations when Dr. Stump found out about the stuff under Josh’s bed.

Tyler’s dad turned Josh’s bed over, and Dr. Stump went through every single thing under Josh’s bed. Tyler watched for a couple minutes, but it got pretty boring really fast, so Tyler went to Jenna’s house.

When he got back, Josh’s box spring had been removed, and the mattress was lying on the ground. Josh was burrowed under the blankets, but for once, he wasn’t crying. He just had his head sticking out from the blankets and was staring at the ceiling.

Tyler had asked Josh why they had to take all the stuff out from under Josh’s bed, but Josh didn’t reply.

Josh didn’t say anything to anyone for a very long time.

 

 

Tyler decides that he hates math.

"I hate math," he announces.

Josh looks up from his own homework. "Why?" he asks, blinking at him.

"It’s stupid," Tyler says.

"Why?" Josh repeats.

"It just is," Tyler says, pushing his worksheet away from him with a sigh. When he sees Josh peer at it, he says, "Hey, no copying."

"I’m not gonna copy," Josh says. "You got them all wrong."

"What, you got yours right?" Tyler scoffs.

Josh just looks at him. "Yes," he says.

"Yeah, right."

"I did," Josh says. "Number one is 4. That’s because 4 times 4 is 16, meaning that the dividend, 16, divided by the divisor, 4, equals the quotient, 4."

Tyler stares at him for a moment before snatching his paper back. "Repeat that," he says, pencil poised.

"Look," Josh says, "you know how to multiply, right?"

"Obviously," Tyler says, only lying a little bit.

"Multiplication is just taking a number and adding it however many times the problem tells you to," Josh says, ignoring Tyler. "So, 4 times 4. That means 4 plus 4 plus 4 plus 4, which is 16, so 4 times 4 is sixteen. And division is just that backwards. The problem '16 divided by 4 equals ___' is really just asking how many times 4 can go into sixteen. And 4 goes into 16 4 times. So 16 divided by 4 equals 4."

He looks up at Tyler, who then nods like he understands.

"Right," Tyler says, looking back down at his worksheet. "Okay."

"Do you get it now?" Josh asks.

"Uh," Tyler says. Josh leans over to explain again, and to Tyler’s surprise, he lets him.

 

 

For Josh’s tenth birthday, Tyler’s parents buy him a model of the solar system.

It’s a pretty big thing, and it hangs from the ceiling in space that’s verging into Tyler’s space. Josh is utterly taken with it and spends hours just staring.

Tyler thinks it’s pretty weird.

"Does he like space?" Jenna asks.

Tyler shrugs. "I don’t know. I guess," he says.

"Is he having a party?"

"He doesn’t have any friends," Tyler says, shaking his head.

Jenna purses her lips. "Not any?" she asks.

"No," Tyler says. "Do y’wanna play basketball?"

"We always play basketball," Jenna says. "We should do something with Josh."

Tyler blinks. _"What?"_ he says, completely astonished.

"We should do something with Josh," Jenna repeats.

"No!" Tyler blurts.

"Why not?"

"Because… because…" Tyler splutters. "Because he’s a jerk, that’s why!"

"But why?" Jenna presses.

"Because!" Tyler says. "You know why!"

"I don’t think I do," Jenna says thoughtfully. "You say a lot of things, and I usually agree with them out loud, but I don’t know if I’ve ever been agreeing inside my mind."

Tyler blinks. "…what?" he says.

"You say a lot of things," Jenna repeats, "and I usually agree with them out loud, but I don’t–"

"No, I mean." Tyler frowns. "You don’t hate Josh?"

"No, I don’t think so," Jenna says.

"But _I_ hate Josh!" Tyler points out.

"And I hate language arts," Jenna says, "but you don’t. I don’t have to hate everything that you do." She frowns. "I don’t even know if you even hate Josh."

"Of course I hate Josh!" Tyler says, affronted.

"But you never really say why," Jenna says.

"Because…" Tyler struggles to find a way to phrase it. "Because he takes. And everyone is fine with it." He scowls, shaking his head. "That’s not what I meant."

"Then say what you mean," Jenna says.

"I don’t know how," Tyler replies, tugging at his shirt’s hem frustratedly.

 

 

It crosses the line when Tyler sees Josh teaching Jenna how do play sudoku, and his vision practically goes red.

"No!" he shrieks, shoving Josh away from Jenna.

"Tyler!" Jenna yelps. "What are you doing?!"

"No!" Tyler repeats. He feels so incredibly _furious_ that he can’t even remember any other words.

"What’s going on here?" Tyler’s mom says, stepping in.

"Nothing," Josh mumbles as Jenna says, "He pushed him!"

"Hey!" Tyler says, glaring at her.

"You did," Jenna says fiercely. "He was teaching me how to play soo– sedoo… He was teaching me how to play a game."

"Sudoku," Josh murmurs.

"He was teaching me how to play sudoku," Jenna says, "and it was really mean of you to just _push_ him. What were you even trying to do?"

Tyler is so infuriated that he can’t even remember how to speak. "I hate you!" are the most eloquent words that he can manage to procure, and he them screams at Josh.

"Tyler," his mom says in a tone indicating that he’s in Really Big Trouble now.

"I _hate_ you," he insists, ignoring his mother. "You come into _my house,_ you take _my spot_ as the oldest kid, you get _all_ of Mom’s attention with your _stupid crying,_ you get _everything_ first, and everyone thinks you’re so _great,_ so _cool,_ so much _better!_ And now you’re trying to steal _my best friend_! She’s _my_ friend, not yours, you jerk!"

"Tyler Robert Joseph."

"He’s everywhere, Mom," Tyler says, proud of himself when he manages to only flinch a little bit when he turns to see his mother’s furious expression. "He’s _everywhere,_ and he takes everything."

"Go to your room," she only says coldly.

Tyler meets Josh’s eye as he turns to head for the staircase. Josh is crying quietly, tears streaming down his cheeks, and Tyler can’t tell what that feeling churning inside his gut is.

 

 

Josh is in the kitchen alone when Tyler walks in.

"Josh." When he gets no response, Tyler clears his throat. "Josh," he repeats.

"What, Tyler?" Josh responds, sounding tired.

"I, uh." Tyler swallows. The words "I’m sorry" can’t seem to make their way from his lips, so he settles on saying, "I got you this."

"What?" Josh asks, turning to face him.

"I got you these," Tyler repeats stiffly, holding out the little package of glow-in-the-dark stars he managed to filch from the toy store.

Gingerly, Josh moves closer and takes the package. He looks up at Tyler.

"You can get Dad to help you put them on the ceiling," Tyler says, shifting awkwardly. "Cuz, y’know. I noticed that you spend most nights looking at the ceiling. So, like," he gnaws on his lower lip, "I thought you might as well be looking at something."

Josh stares at the stars in his hand, then back up at Tyler. His expression is indecipherable, and Tyler feels increasingly more awkward as the moments pass.

"Uh," Tyler finally says, and Josh hesitantly smiles at him.

"Thank you," he murmurs, and Tyler decides he can’t find it within himself to trip Josh as he walks back to his spot by the kitchen table.


End file.
